Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
