I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
