I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my being single is dangerous.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
