what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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