Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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