living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
