OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
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It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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