I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nicole vs. Life
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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