Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
