Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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