Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize