nut hugger
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
