That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
