I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
