Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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