Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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