She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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