Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i think my cat just said my name.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
