Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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