I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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