did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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