this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
