If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
