you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
