Whod you bang
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
