we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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