just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
