Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
