so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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