Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
