I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
