Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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