I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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