drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My vagina just recognized that song.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
