i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize