I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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