when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
