i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
