okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
