Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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