yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
