Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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