And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
