Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
