she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
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no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize