well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
