I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
