So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
