im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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