yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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