Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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