I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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