its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
