apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
