Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
