Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
