shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
